Butterfly Kisses
by Jedi Princess Jainakin
Summary: Oneshot songfic to "Butterfly Kisses" by Bob Carlisle. Looking at his daughter in Sickbay after the events of "Terra Prime", Trip spends some time musing on "what could have been".


**a.n. **This is my first ever Star Trek fic, so please excuse any OOC-ness or anything else that seems amiss. I am not well-versed in the Star Trek universe, but I do hope I did it justice. That being said, I was inspired to write this oneshot after having finally watched all Enterprise episodes. Since watching the series finale, I have been watching fanvids and reading Enterprise fanfiction. I have been a little emotional (particularly quite sad) after viewing the last 3 episodes of the series and watching/reading all the Trip/T'Pol fanvids/fanfiction out there. As I was attempting to study for finals, I was listening to some music and this song started playing. I just about cried connecting this song to the events in "Demons" and "Terra Prime" and I just knew I had to write a fanfic to serve as an outlet for what I've been feeling. Thus, this fic was born (and I very nearly cried writing it too). I proofread this, so I hope there are no mistakes and I hope the formatting is okay. I had to use ffn's HTML editor to fix some formatting mistakes after I uploaded this and I think I caught them all). I hope you enjoy and don't forget to review.

**Disclaimer:** All characters, names, places, etc. are the property of Paramount (I think) while the song "Butterfly Kisses" is copyright to Bob Carlisle. I own nothing and I am not making any kind of profit off of this.

Butterfly Kisses

Charles 'Trip' Tucker III peered silently into the incubator that housed his daughter, trying to fight back the emotions that have threatened to overwhelm him since this whole ordeal began. There were more important things going on right now; he didn't need to lose his emotional control on top of everything else.

Glancing briefly to his right, he could see T'Pol standing just as stoically and silently next to him, looking at tiny being that had been created from them. Neither one of them spoke; there was no use for words right now. Every ounce of their attention, will, and support was directed at the little girl before them, currently fighting for her life.

As he watched his daughter, Trip couldn't help but think of all the times they would never have with her, all the things they would miss about watching her grow up, all the things they would miss about being parents. Sighing, he rested his free hand on the glass, willing himself to be strong.

_There's two things I know for sure.  
She was sent here from heaven, _  
_And she's daddy's little girl.  
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night, _  
_She talks to Jesus, and I close my eyes.  
And I thank God for all the joy in my life,  
Oh, but most of all_

_For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer.  
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair.  
"Walk beside the pony, daddy, it's my first ride."  
"I know the cake looks funny, daddy, but I sure tried."_

_Oh, with all that I've done wrong, _  
_I must have done something right  
To deserve a hug every mornin', _  
_And butterfly kisses at night.  
_

There would be no tucking in his little girl when she went to bed each night. There would be no encouraging her in all her endeavors. There would be no one to look at him with those beautiful blue eyes she got from him, looking for the love and pride he knew he could, and would, give. He would never see her first steps or hear her first words. Trip smiled sadly at this last thought, wondering if they would be in English or Vulcan. He would never know.  
_  
Sweet sixteen today,  
She's looking like her momma a little more every day._  
_One part woman, the other part girl.  
To perfume and makeup, from ribbons and curls.  
Trying her wings out in a great big world.  
But I remember_

_Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer.  
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair.  
"You know how much I love you, daddy,_  
_But if you don't mind,  
I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time."  
_

_Oh, with all that I've done wrong,_  
_I must have done something right.  
To deserve her love every mornin', _  
_And butterfly kisses at night._

Aside from her very obvious Vulcan ears, there were no outside indicators that his daughter was anything but human. But he imagined that as she grew, she would start looking more and more like her mother. He had no problem with that. He certainly wouldn't mind having two beautiful ladies in his life.

He doubted she would have acted like the typical Human girl as she grew. But she probably wouldn't have acted like the typical Vulcan child either. She would have had the best qualities of both worlds and would have learned to appreciate her dual heritage and the strength it gave her. She would have no longer exemplified the contamination of the Human genome, as Paxton had wanted. Instead, she would have been proof of how two such different peoples can come together to create something perfect, beautiful, strong. She would have shown that Humans could only grow stronger, not weaker, from interacting and intermingling with other species. She would have brought hope.

_All the precious time_  
_Like the wind, the years go by  
Precious butterfly_  
_Spread your wings and fly_

He knew that she would have grown up to be a strong, independent, and sometimes stubborn, woman like her mother. But she would have also had his sense of adventure, his sense of humor, his desire to protect all those he loved and cared for from any harm. She would have made tremendous splashes in the galaxy. She could have brought much happiness to those in her life, he and her mother included, and she would have done a lot of good. She would have been a benefit to all those that came into contact with her and she would have soared to great heights and seen much in her life. But now, her life was ending after too soon after it had begun and no one would experience the wonderful things she would have had to offer the galaxy, some of the same wonderful things he had experienced during his short time in her presence.

_She'll change her name today.  
She'll make a promise and I'll give her away.  
Standing in the bride room just staring at her,  
She asked me what I'm thinking,_  
_And I said "I'm not sure,  
I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl."_  
_Then she leaned over_

_Gave me butterfly kisses, with her mama there _  
_Stickin' little flowers all up in her hair  
"Walk me down the aisle, daddy, _  
_It's just about time."  
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, daddy?"_  
_"Daddy, don't cry."_

_Oh, with all that I've done wrong, _  
_I must have done something right  
To deserve her love every mornin', _  
_And butterfly kisses  
_  
He knew that someday, she would have had to leave them, to go forge her own path in life. That life may have even included a spouse and children somewhere down the line. Would she have married a Human? A Vulcan? It didn't matter to him. As long as she was happy, he would be too. She could never have remained with them forever; she would have had to leave them in order to lead her own life. It would never have been easy for him; she would always have remained his little girl. He would have always remembered her life and his life with her. She would never have been far from his thoughts, no matter where life took her. He would have love her as long as there was life in his body

_I couldn't ask God for more. _  
_Man, this is what love is.  
I know I've gotta let her go, but I'll always remember  
Every hug in the morning, and butterfly kisses_

Even now as he stared down at her tiny form below him he knew he would never, and could never, forget her. She had done so much to him in such a short amount of time. She had given him hope for the future, for possibilities he had never dreamed of. She had shown him that there was a bright light at the end of the tunnel, that something good could come out of all the terrible things that had happened recently; she was proof of that.

Trip watched her tiny body exhale deeply and knew that it was over. His baby girl was gone before she had a chance to really live. He tried his hardest to keep a tight lid on his emotions but knew that he had failed miserably. Several tears broke free and trickled down his cheek, landing on the glass beneath his hands. He made no sounds as he let his tears silently fall. A quick look to the Vulcan next to him showed that T'Pol was having just as difficult a time trying to control her emotions. She was succeeding, but just barely. He watched quietly as T'Pol stole one last glance at their daughter before grasping her mother's IDIC pendant, hanging on the incubator, and walking as quickly and as dignified as possible out of Sickbay.

He followed her exit with his eyes and knew that she was hoping to gain better control over her emotions in the privacy and solitude of her own quarters. He probably would have done the same if he could have torn himself away from his daughter's side. He would give T'Pol the time and space she needed to grieve in her own way before going to her so that they could help each other move past the pain and sadness. Sparing one final look at the infant, he knelt down closer to get his face as close to hers as possible.

"Good-bye, little one," he whispered. "I hope you know how much joy you brought into our lives, even in the short amount of time we were together. I know your mother loves you just as much as I do, even if she can't say or express it. I want you to know that I will always love you and you will always be a part of our lives. We are sad that we never got to know you any longer and that we never got to see you grow into the lovely young woman I know you would have become. We will never forget you. I love you Elizabeth, my little butterfly."


End file.
